Tuesday, March 12, 2013

diary of a guttersnipe 03/11/2013: an old man walks into the streets..

by Shawn Starr

It’s Joey Aulisio's birthday! To celebrate, here's some drivel.....


Guardians Of The Galaxy # 0.1 (Marvel)
by Brian Michael Bendis, Steve McNiven, John Dell III, Justin Ponsor

I'm pretty sure everyone has read a comic or seen a movie that was meant to make you shed a tear (just a single one though). These kind of things tend to have a 50/50 work/fail ratio on me because deep down i’m a big baby who was not hugged enough as a child or something, but 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' is not one of those instances.

Instead it comes off as twenty pages of “i wish I knew my daddy” with a macho revenge ending that makes you groan with cliche. It seems a lot of writers like to apply these themes of empathy and revenge to one-shots, everyone want’s to make a comic where Clint Eastwood’s papa hit him at the start, but he staves off those demons of abuse until some rapscallion kills his wife and Clint finally catches up with them and unleashes all that rage. Maybe a bottle of whiskey is involved. And spitting, definitely spitting.

(God, did you guys see the end of "Unforgiven" ? That scene still gives me chills.)

Anyways, our Clint in this scenario is some kid whose mom let some alien (who looks unnaturally like a human, convergent evolution towards Homo-Sapien characteristics in the Marvel Universe is insanely prolific) knock her up after he crash landed in her backyard. It turns out there's some space war going on and he’s actually royalty so the “bad” aliens come and try and off him as a child (to sever the royal bloodline) but all they do is kill his mother and make him mad.

Flash forward 20 years and you find out this whole story has actually been him talking to Iron Man and then we get a little box at the bottom saying  “To Be Continued in...Guardians of the Galaxy #1!”

So i guess this will never be mentioned again.

Sex #1 (Image)
by Joe Casey, Piotr Kowalski, Brad Simpson, Rus Wooton

A fine first issue.

Batman Incorporated #8 (DC)
by Grant Morrison, Chris Burnham, Jason Masters, Nathan Fairbairn

If Grant Morrison's only decent issue of 'Action Comics' taught anyone anything it's that you can't kill IP (intellectual property for you laymen), so his sudden attempt at killing off the past five to ten years of his Batman “creations” over the past eight issues kind of rings hollow. Sure Damien is dead, or seems to be, I didn't see no casket so the jury's still out, but his value is found in his existence, which makes his supposed death all the more sorry, because he will be back, the market demands it!

Young Avengers #2 (Marvel)
by Kieron Gillen, Jamie McKelvie, Mike Norton, Matt Wilson

This opening arc seems like it should be taking place about twenty issues into the run. Instead of focusing on bringing the team together, we have two issues devoted to two character's relationship (Wiccan / Hulkling) that only really makes sense if you have read the run involving those characters previous relationship that took place over the course of  five years and two mini-series. It’s an interesting enough story, it's just that there is no real ground to stand on if you’re not into 15 pages of teenagers talking about their relationship, and five-one page updates on the rest of the team who we aren't going to meet for a while.

Hellboy In Hell #4 (Dark Horse)
by Mike Mignola, Dave Stewart

Ahhhh, yeah, That's my Mignola!

Other things James Stokoe has ruined in Mark Andrew Smith’s life:

. His amateur ATV career.

. His Mighty Morphin Power Rangers themed sushi restaurant.

. His patent on a blanket that also doubles as a hat (he would never have to be referred to as a school teacher again!).

. His run at the Guinness Book of World Records for most names in a single name.

. His album of J-Pop inspired Johnny Cash covers.

. His network sitcom.

. His credibility.

. His collection of animals in Kangaroo pouches figurines.

ECCC decided to post the majority of their panels online, some for pay and some for free, luckily the only one that mattered fell into the “free” category ‘Putting the “Graphic” in Graphic Novels’ features smut luminary Howard Chaykin (fresh off the completion of 'Black Kiss 2', a comic about how fucked up the movie industry really is + trannies) and recent newcomer and rising post-porn star Brandon Graham ('Pillow Fight', 'Perverts Of The Unknown') along with Matt Fraction and Joe Casey who kind of tangentially relate to the field insofar as they write comics with the words “sex” in the title and they needed to fill out the panel (Also present was Fiona Staples which makes zero sense, if 'Saga', just for showing tits and balls, counts as a sex comic i need to reevaluate a lot of things in my life). As with all things, Chaykin, Casey and Graham provide all the highlights, the real blockbuster reveal on the panel turns up about two thirds the way through where Howard Chaykin, yes THEE Howard Chaykin, tells everyone he was a camp counselor at one point.

Joey and Chad Nevett did something of a audio variety but won’t tell me what it was. I am annoyed.

I guess MOCCA is now the cool place to be in the month of April, i thank MOCCA for letting me in on that fact well past the point of me being able to attend. Seriously, you have DeForge and Forsman at your con and your only press announcement is “that guy who draws the retarded clown comics is coming” ? What did you want me to think MOCCA? WHAT?

Jonny Negron: "For me, [my imagery is] not as shocking. I’ve exposed myself to so much outsider art or alternative art that a lot of that stuff is not that obscene to me. I draw what I draw because I know that it will cause some kind of reaction for the viewer.

Have i linked this before? I don’t know, but Michael DeForge's entire 'Ant Comic' series has been compiled in a single page for your viewing pleasure. Those are some fine comics.

The John Darnielle WTF podcast was very good, although i’d suggest a large quantity of alcohol be on hand while listening to it

After seeing the newest 'League Of Extraordinary Gentleman', I’m not sure why they did not also use this hardcover format for their Century titles.

Toren Smith died, from my understanding he was a major figure in the early US Manga movement, particularly in translating some major works. That is sad news. Also in other sad news Kim Thompson has lung cancer, comics would not be the same without him.

Tom Spurgeon’s ECCC con report. Along with interviewing Gary Groth.

Chris Sprouse removed himself from that bigot Orson Scott Card's Superman script due to media attention; because that's how moral stands are made, via complaining about unwanted attention. The fucking coward.

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